Almost there

Well this week I will be 34 weeks pregnant and I have to admit the nerves are kicking in. This pregnancy has been probably my easiest. I still had some problems with my hips and back but for the most part, I have felt well. Ayden is going to be our fourth baby and he seems to be progressing in the same fashion that all the others before him did. He is going to be large, we just don't know how large yet. Caroline and Thatcher were both well over 9 lbs and Kylie was just under it weighing in at 8lbs 12 ozs. He seems healthy as far as all the ultrasounds have gone but the worrying has begun.

If anyone has ever had a complication during pregnancy or labor, they know that the next pregnancy they wait fearfully for it to happen again. When I had Caroline, I hemorraghed and lost about 2 pints of blood. There was no one to blame, since there is no warning of hemorraghing until it actually happens. It doesn't matter, it makes you feel awful afterwards. I was green after I had Caroline and it took months for me to gain the energy I lost from losing all that blood. With Kylie, it didn't happen, well I should say it started slightly but the doctor caught it quickly and gave me a shot and that was it. It was wonderful, to feel so good after a delivery and be able to go home and enjoy my baby. Then came Thatcher and it happened again. That time, it took two shots, 3 pills and two iv bags to fix it. I lost 2 more pints of blood. So needless to say that I am terrified of it happening again with Ayden. We do know now that it has to do with the size of the babies. (the bigger the baby, the more likely to have problems) I am not afraid of death or anything that horrible. I am afraid of the feeling of exhaustion that comes with the blood loss. This time I will have 4 kids, I won't have time to be that tired.

Along with the medical fears that come with this 4th baby there are other psychological fears running through my head. Caroline and Kylie will be in school next year. How am I going to take care of a baby, a 2 yrs old and help them with thier homework? Jeremy is gone most of the week, so it is just me most of the time. How am I going to stretch myself that thin? I know I am not the perfect mother, in fact, I know I am not close but I do try and one of my biggest fears is neglecting one of my kids. I was the quiet one in my family and I was always pushed aside for those "squeakier wheels". I do not want to do that with any of my children. Sometimes with just 3, I feel pulled and stretched from so many different directions and now we are adding another.

I guess I should put a disclaimer at the end of this. I am not complaining about having 4 kids. We wanted all of our children and God seems to always know the best time for us to have each of them. These are just somethings that run through my head lately. Do other moms have these same fears? I always feel like the frazzled mom while all those other moms have time and money to get thier nails and hair done. They always look put together and I, well.... I always seem to have a few hair out of place. Did I miss some mommy 101 class, that gives you hints on how to handle all this and do it while looking your best? It is only by God's grace that I seem to keep it together, which I guess is more than enough.

A puzzle

Ayden will be arriving in about 6 to 8 weeks and Jeremy and I are having to deal with what feels like a jigsaw puzzle at our house. We live in a small 3 bedroom 1 bath house. The puzzle is how to best fit all of us including the 6th member of our family comfortably into this little house. We would love a bigger house but in the process of making our family larger we did not realize one important factor. We out grew a starter home before we actually bought a starter home, so now we are scrimping and saving so that we can maybe buy in about year, until then, we are stuck here.

So back to the jigsaw puzzle... where does everyone, and all of thier toys go? Right now Thatcher's toys are in the living room and it makes our living room really crowded. He and Ayden were going to share the smallest bedroom but we are not so sure anymore. All of our babies spend the first 5 or 6 months in our room b/c I don't like depending on a baby monitor. So Ayden's crib is being transferred into our room. The girls have the biggest bedroom which works out nicely except Thatcher usually wants to go to bed with his sisters. So we are looking at putting the girl's and Thatcher's bed all in the big bedroom along with the girls dresser. The little bedroom will become a toy room for all. Hopefully this will also helps with us being able to keep up with cleaning too.



Our bedroom is going through a makeover, it is getting a new paint job and maybe the floor will get painted also, since the carpet is old and ugly. The only really nice thing Jeremy and I own together is our bed, we bought it about a year ago. Our room is usually the one that gets neglected. So we are trying to make it more of an escape haven (well except the crib will be in there.). So today we spent the day painting and moving stuff out of our room. I have felt so good this pregnancy that I didn't realize how easily you can tired in your 8th month. Thank goodness Jeremy is so easy going and willing to help where ever he can.

Hopefully by the end of this weekend there will be pictures to post of our new arrangement in our house.

And time goes by....

I can not believe that it has already been a week after Thatcher's surgery. He is doing very well, in fact, probably much better than I ever thought it would go. He still needs his pain meds every once in awhile but it seems to get further apart with each day. He is eating pretty much everything and drinking great. He has lost some weight, so he looks like a runt. I call him Chicken Little, because he looks like a little rooster walking around with his skinny shoulders and pot belly.

On to the girls, Caroline is doing swim team this summer. I have to say she is making me so proud. Each time we go to practice, it seems like she improves 100%. She is in the youngest age group right now because we can't seem to convince her she is good enough to move up. Her stroke is beautiful and Thurs. at practice they had a mock meet, she wiped out everyone who she raced by half a lane. It is hard to believe that she is getting so old. Her and Kylie are both doing Terrific Tuesdays at Bethel (the church we attend). It is alot like bible school but is only on every Tuesday of June instead of just one whole week. Kylie is having a blast, making new friends. I get nervous leaving her because I have never really left her with people she didn't really know. She seems to handle it very well and is growing so fast. Her thought process is so deep and different from Caroline's that she is constantly surprising me with comments and questions she asks. It is so nice to have them both home this summer and I am kinda sad to think they are both going to be in school this August.

And then there is Ayden.... for those of you who don't know, Ayden is our 4th and has yet to be born. He is doing well and I am down to two week appointments at my OB. My last appointment was Tuesday and we got to see some of him on the ultrasound. He is already all folded up and we discovered that I am basically all baby. I am at 31 weeks and he is measuring 33 weeks, so it looks like is going to be another big one. We will be doing a ultrasound at about 36 or 37 weeks to determine his actual size and the dr. will decide then how early he will let me deliver. We are doubting he will make his due date, he may not even make it to August.

Finally there is Jeremy and I. Jeremy is still working 4 days a week across state. It gets harder each time he leaves but we are so blessed that he still has a job with this economy, that we can't complain. He stays with his parents, so he gets to hang out with Jason a lot and they are playing touch rugby together. Jeremy is really enjoying spending time with his brother and he really loves his job. As far as me, I am doing okay. Some days I feel like I am going to lose my mind but most of the time I am just thankful that this pregnancy I feel so good. The last week has been hard because we have been waitng for Thatcher to recover, so we are stuck inside alot. He is also very demanding and when it is just mom around, I get all the attention. (maybe too much sometimes).

So that is what we all have been up too. Time seems to be going by so quickly, I can't believe it is almost the middle of June. Jeremy and I are trying very hard to make the best of those days our family are all together. We know our kids will not be this age forever and these memories are not ones we want to miss. We feel each day that God has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams.

Our experience...

Thatcher had his tonsils out Tuesday and after spending Tuesday and Wednesday at the hospital he came home today. The whole experience was not as horrible as I thought it would be. My son is such a wonderful little trooper and he never cried for more than about 5 mins. He is like his momma and doesn't like to be messed with when he feels bad, so that was probably the worst part. He did not like the blood pressure and temperature checks nor did he like some strange lady shoving medicine down his very sore throat. Tuesday afternoon and most of Wednesday he refused to eat or drink but I think it had alot to do with his pain medication. Once they changed it, and had him on a normal schedule with it, he improved abundantly. Thank goodness today, the dr. realized that Thatcher just might need to go home to do any better. He was right. We have been home and he is playing with his big sisters whom he missed horribly. He is asking for drinks and food. It seems the worst is behind us... Thanks to all who kept him in thier prayers. Here is our visit in pictures.

Waiting for surgery with Daddy.



He got a little loopy with thee meds they gave him.


Me and my "high" little man



After surgery, sleeping it all off.


Keeping himself entertained with a book.



Posing with Daddy.



Posing with Handy Manny.


Finally deciding that popsicles are just not that bad.